Kim vs. Barnes and Nobles Customer Service

I'm not one to complain but....I have truly been wronged and now totally understand how easy it is to get frustrated when trying to deal with customer service. I have been dealing with Barnes and Nobles customer service for four weeks.

Skip this paragraph, if you do not want to read my customer service peril.
(In a nutshell, I bought a Nook sometime back, and all was well and good.  The thing has a history of freezing, but usually resolved itself in a day or two.  Well of course, a few days after my warranty expires (literally 7 or 8 days), I put my nook down to walk the dog. I came back and it was frozen.  I did every instruction thing found on the internet to unfreeze it.  Finally, I gave up. I chatted with Barnes and Nobles on the internet, who basically told me to bring it to a store. At first I thought it was a battery issue. I brought it to the store, where I learned it was actually a hardware issue. But this is also where I find out about my warranty. I was told too bad, so sad. Which is when I emailed customer service yet again and told to call.  I called and they told me to try all the steps aforementioned. I decided, maybe my nook needed a break, so I waited a week and tried all these unfreeze things again. It's dead. I emailed again, and was told to call. On several separate occasions, I attempted to call and was on hold for 30 minutes.  As I only have a 30-minute lunch break at work, I gave up and am once again trying the email/chat function.)

I've been saying I'd be willing to pay for repairs. I would rather pay for a repair than have a $149.00 paperweight. However, I am completely and utterly disgusted with the idea of buying a new one. I can understand if the thing was like a lightbulb, where it's suppose to die eventually. But it's a mini computer almost, and it's not suppose to have a short lifespan. I did a lot of research before I invested a paycheck into this thing. All I want to do is read and basically Barnes and Nobles is saying...sorry, too bad, buy a new one.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask that Barnes and Nobles assist with just standing by it's star product. I'm not asking for a new one, a fancy one. I just want this one to work as an e-reader and not as a paperweight.

If this does not work out, I think my next steps will be to write to the president of the company. If no response then go to the BBB. 

Hurricane preparation from a Hurricane n00b

I've lived in Florida for about two years and Hurricane Irene is the closest possibly to becoming a Hurricane survivor. I highly doubt this storm will be 'Anderson Cooper worthy,' but it has put a bunch of Floridians and tourists on edge. Personally, I've always wanted to experience some sort of weather phenomena, excluding the daily summer monsoons here in central Florida. In fact, this summer I've re-mottoed Florida: The sunshine state, lightening capital of the world.

Being a Hurricane n00b, I've heard a variety of interesting tips from Hurricane survivors. Sadly, all the local stores ran out of the items that are considered essential for Hurricane survival, prior to me deciding that maybe I should be more prepared.

1. Fill up your bathtubs with water.  This is, apparently, so you may have a fresh supply of water, in case the plumbing goes out. It is also the only way to flush a toilet. Only one problem, we only have one tub, and there's no drain plug.
2. Buy a shotgun. Apparently, not nice people try to plunder other people's houses when there's no electricity powering a security system. It's ok, one doesn't need a shotgun when they have a ferocious German Shepherd.
3. Ensure that your trees are trimmed. Luckily, there are no really big trees near my house.
4. Buy bottled water. I'm still not a fan of plastic water bottles. Luckily, my mom is though and manages to keep a hefty supply. All the local stores are out of bottled water cases though. So I sense an apocalypse should the storm actually hit us.
5. Fill up your gas tank now so you can make an easy escape. Meh. I just don't feel that sense of urgency yet.
6. Make sure your flashlights have batteries. I don't think this house has one working flashlight. Probably a problem, but I tend to use my echolocation at night anyway.
7. Buy a weather radio. I sense my logic is flawed, when I think, why would I need a storm radio, I can just use the internet/my phone. I know, I know; I'm completely dependent upon electricity.
8. Buy non-perishable food. I would totally do that, except it was 3 for $5.00 Greek yogurt sale. Besides, all the stores are out of bread. I think, we have some chips.
9. Board up your windows.  But then you'll have to take them down. And why would you want to put holes in the drywall. Again, my sense of urgency is non-existent.
10. Stay tuned to local news for the latest updates. One thing about news in Central Florida is that they obsess over stories until it is dead (i.e Casey Anthony). It would be impossible to blatantly ignore Hurricanes when Floridians start freaking out every 10-seconds.

So that's my Hurricane preparation guide. I'm not going to abandon the fort here. I'm sure this one will miss us, mostly because it knows I have to work open to close on Thursday and all afternoon on Friday.

Jumping off

Recently, my good friend and former co-worker, Tony Albanese quit his job, packed up, and drove across country to Los Angeles. No plan; no real reason, other than he just didn't want his life to be wasted. Apparently, he's done this before and ended up in Orlando.

I can only dream of such actions. I have another friend who went the other way. She had a job working for a big company in Los Angeles. She recently packed up and drove across country to live in New York City. Again, no job.

I wonder why I can't do the same. I have no children, no overwhelming commitments. There are days that I just want to pack up and call it a day. Though logic dictates that it's a 'grass is always greener' situation. It must be nice, even for a day, to have no obligations.

I'm far too attached to my family and to having certainty to just pick up and leave. I'm the type of person that needs a destination and a job. One can only hope that a better opportunity and adventure is out there for every one of us.

One of my favorite things: Empty Theme Park

This past week I've been working from 6:00 AM until 2:00 PM or 3:00 PM. Why, you may ask? I'm not too sure, but I love it. As some of you may know, I'm not exactly a morning person, but I'm always glad once I actually get started. This morning I arrived at 5:30 AM to a completely empty theme park, except for one security guard and a few roaches. I took a breath and found that as absurd of a life I have, it is amazing.

I think very VERY few people have the opportunity to walk through a place alone that is empty and most importantly silent. It's a very underwhelming experience to have silence now or days. As I walk, I imagine that if there was an apocalypse, that emptiness would feel exactly like it does in that moment. Theme parks are usually filled with screaming children, music, ride noises, and every noise pollution possible, but there is a point where all that turns off and it's just a regular place of business.

Again, you may be thinking WHY 6:00 AM. There have been days when I show up, and there are people (tourists) waiting to get in, frantic that it's 5:45 AM and they do not have their tickets.  I appreciate their enthusiasm, but I also truly like that they have to wait outside until 6:00 AM - thus giving me a moment of surreal peace.

That's what it is! Peace. A moment where you can think about yourself and how you feel in the universe. Maybe that's why people like to go camping or to far off places, to feel like a single soul in the universe, rather than just another number or face in the crowd. Inner peace. Namaste.

Things that I'm looking for this week

July is almost over (thank goodness), in Florida it's overwhelmingly hot and infested with tourists. People don't believe me when I say that they smell like sunscreen and disappointment. What is 'vacation' for some people, is daily life for others.

That being said, my summer semester is winding down, and not a moment too soon. I am, again, unbelievably stressed. So much so that I have three (3) Canker sores in my mouth. Two are almost gone, but one is getting bigger and angrier. I usually get them when I'm super stressed and eat a lot of chocolate (all of which happens frequently).

The worst pain I experienced when when I ate a hot dog and got ketchup in the wounds. Omg! It may be worse than electro-therapy. So, the #1 thing I'm looking for a is a cure for mouth sores.

Secondly, I'm sure many people are running into this need as well, but it is the need for more money. I've got bills, yo. It seems like everyone I know is getting married in the coming year. That equals a lot of traveling and dress buying. Some of the money saving tips I've encountered that work well include: not eating (or only having Ramen), car pooling, whoring myself to online surveys (Swagbucks, Crowdtap), sewing holes in clothes, putting tape/glue in the hole in my shoes, and using the library.

Furthermore, I'm addicted to chocolate fudge and Sabra's Supremely Spicy Hummus.  Sadly, the fudge leads to canker sores, and the spicy hummus does not at all help them heal. So maybe it's a win-win.

Any tips are welcome!

07/15/11 FBI: 'Enraged' flier pelts crew with peanuts

CNN reported a story about an  'Enraged' flier pelts crew with peanuts.  I could not help but laugh, because I can totally see myself going crazy and doing the same thing.  It's a common joke amongst my friends, who are equally as stressed out as myself that we will start smoking e-cigarettes.  I'm so close to losing my mind that I can see myself throwing peanuts at people screaming "mah, mah mah, wizards, mah" until I get taken out in a straight jacket. Fully knowing, this is my fate, it's so funny.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Not a spoiler)

Let me start by saying this is not a technical review, won't have any plot comments. More of an observation, as I live in a place literally surrounded by Wizards.

Luckily, I had the opportunity to screen the final Harry Potter film two (2) days before it came out. And people were lining up already in lawn chairs and such. Ok, fine, it's a popular series. But these people were in full wizard outfits. Again, normal...but Hogwarts and such seems to be located in a colder temperature. In Orlando, we hit 95-degrees on both days. That's dedication.

There is also a wizard conference in town, so again, lots of wizards running around. More than usual. I like to play a game similar to 'Punch Buggy' except it's 'Punch Wizard' this week, the bruises have been so bad.

So the film itself it epic. I just called it the this generation's equivalent of the first Star Wars. I'm actually going to pay to see it again. I may even draw a lightening bolt on my forehead.

On being an animal person

The past week, as well as, this week, Charger has been in doggy bootcamp.  I think of it like the Maury show, where they bring the bad kids to jail for a reality shock. This is similar except more obedience school. In addition, this is the first time Charger has been away from us for more than three days. I can't believe how much I miss her. I don't miss being exhausted, but somehow I'm equally as stressed and I miss my puppy.

I posted pictures of her around our house, so that we can see her wherever we normally look. Surprisingly, my mom hasn't taken them down. I think she secretly misses Charger too. I know my dad does. This brings me to a point in my life where I can finally understand why I never got/excelled in an animal career as I wanted. I am not an animal person. I'm starting to become better with animals, but I was and never will be that person. There's something almost magical about people who love and live animals. It's almost ethereal. Animal people can sense other animal people, which is why I think I was never accepted into that world.

Knowing this has brought me peace.  A part of that dissatisfaction I had about not achieving my goals of working with dolphins and whales, has finally ceased.

Review: 'Turtle: The Incredible Journey'

I had the opportunity to see Turtle: The Incredible Journey today courtesy of SeaWorld marketing.  This documentary definitely delivered on the 'Incredible' part of the title.  The movie follows the perilous life of a baby loggerhead sea turtle from the moment she breaks from her egg through 21-years later. 

SeaWorld Productions partnered with Emmy Award winning director, Nick Stringer, to provide dramatic visualization and a compelling story narrated by Miranda Richardson (aka Rita Skeeter from the Harry Potter films).  True to SeaWorld's mission statement, the film dropped not-subtle messages of marine conservation.  In addition, the film has a 3-D version, which provides complete immersion into the ocean world.  Viewers find themselves holding their breath as the waves crash into the camera, but feel equally as comfortable as the variety of whales, dolphins, and fish swim through the blue abyss.

Why would anyone want to watch an 81-minute documentary about a turtle? Because you love marine life and you like a compelling story.  I'm fairly certain the crew did not follow the same turtle around for 21-years, but that is not the point. The point is to connect with the 'character' and to feel the urge to clean up trash, sign a petition, and save the one ocean that we all have in common. The story goes beyond one turtle, it's a story about all the ocean animals and the challenges they all must face by mother nature alone.  Then you add the human factor and survival is bleak.


Overall, I rate this movie as a B, as the content will not appeal to all crowds.  However, if you're going to see it, see it on the big screen.

And then I rescued a turtle.

I guess I'm a wildlife warrior as I have rescued two non-mammal this week.  Chris and I were walking Charger in the neighborhood when we saw a giant turtle in the middle of the road.

We have a lot of little ponds here, so we think it left one to get to the other side. This guy would have never made it across the road with the traffic.

Luckily, Charger had not pooped, so I had two doggy poop bags. Now I tried some scare tactics to get it to run, only for it to hide even more. When I tried to move it, the backlegs stuck in the ground.  Meanwhile my ever brave brother and dog just stood there laughing/staring inquisitively.  Ever helpful Chris was yelling at me to just pick it up, but it was quite heavy.  I actually thought it may have already been run over and didn't want it's guts to spill out.  Chris assured me he saw no blood and it probably would not be moving if it did get run over.  So after a minute, I pulled it off the ground and ran the turtle across the street towards the next pond.  Off it ran!  Once Charger saw that it was actually not a rock she starting barking like crazy.

I felt good.  I have seen far too many turtles dead on the side of the road. This one I was able to identify as a Florida softshell turtle.  May it live long and prosper.
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On a side note: Charger gets her ovaries taken out on Wednesday.  When asked, my dad would rather have me spayed than Charger.

I speak Parseltongue

I find that the most wildlife I see since living in Florida ends up either in my backyard or dead in my pool. Recently a baby snake got stuck in the pool.  The poor thing swam around for days trying to get out.

Sadly the last time this happen, my dad got to the snake first and bashed its brains out.  I favor living things, so I felt guilty that I did not react sooner.

Today I got my redemption. Again, the poor baby snake was swimming for days, finally it was in a position for me to catch. So today, I got a bucket and told the snake "come with me if you want to live." Without a blink it swam into the bucket. I kindly asked the snake not to jump out until I was ready and thank god it didn't. 

When I got to the grassy area of my backyard, I told the snake. "On three, get out of the bucket and preferably snake away from my feet." I put the bucket down and in a flash he was gone! I felt really good for helping the snake out. Hopefully, it won't come back.

My mom was surprised how smoothly it all went. Now in hindsight, it probably is not the best idea to handle snakes in buckets without a glove and in flip flops, especially baby snakes. I can't seem to identify what type of snake it was online. Meh, a life saved I suppose.

All my friends are gone!

Ok not all my friends, but the amount of people who evacuated the state of Florida this past month is crazy. I wish I were among them.

• Jenny moved to Baltimore and got a Guest Service manager job at the Baltimore Zoo! Jenny was my trainer in Guest Services and definitely one of my first friends in Florida. Jenny and I had a lot in common because we both grew up and went to school up north. We also always joked that another month and another one of our acquaintances would be engaged.
• Delacy left again for Ohio, with the intention of not coming back. Delacy is also one of my first friends in Florida and took care of me at work. 
• Alex from the Science Center is moving to Wisconsin to be with her beloved. Alex was my breath of fresh air. I always surrounded myself with smart enthusiastic people in NY and Boston and longed to have that back in my life. Alex and Sarah would be so nerdy/cool/funny, when we hung out, I was just happy being me. It's definitely a happiness that I've been missing since leaving Boston. I will most definitely miss laughing like an idiot with Alex.
• Brian left today for Pennsylvania. Brian and I were in the same training class, but we did not become super good friends until I started dating Johnny and he was Johnny's roommate. Brian would be my work vent buddy. I loved that he would drag us homebodies out to do things whether it be sushi or a bar. 

I am so thankful to have had these people in my life.  And leave with these lyrics from Wicked "For Good"

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

My school rules

Now that I've finished my first semester back at school, while working full-time, I have developed some habits and rules that making getting through it the second time a lot easier. Granted, my current school is much less rigorous than BU was, but needless to say, the effort must still be there. I have lofty expectations.

1. Complete all assignments a week in advance. Time flies by when you're working and going to school. If you know when your deadlines are, then you will have ample time to complete them. 
2. Reading is important, but reading the chapter summaries are even more important. Reading takes a long time, you can either read the whole thing and not absorb anything or read parts and get the bigger picture. 
3. Never lose points for spelling and grammar. With technology these days, you almost have to try to not spell something correctly. 
4. Always show up and take notes. It always surprises me how many people do not come to class and then if they do they just sit there. I have the worst memory, and have to write everything down. I rate showing up, higher than reading. 
5. Review your notes within 24-hours of class. I don't do this all the time, but it helps to really sink in the material so you don't have to study as hard for the tests.
6. OMG keep a calendar. As I discussed in "Even dolphins run out of time." I would never end up anywhere, if I didn't know where to go and what to do when I get there. 
7. Always have a pen or two on hand. This is more of a life rule. You never know when someone will call and tell you something you need to remember. 
8. Budget!!! School finances sneak up on you. 
9. Finally, keep your eye on the bigger goal. So many times, I thought, why am I doing this?? It's because I want a better life for myself and I enjoy learning. 

Good luck!

A new goal

I'm starting to become obsessed with writing. Victor has coaxed me into writing in my written journal just my thoughts. I try to post here interesting things that I want preserved for the public in case of tragedy.


About a month or two ago, I found a "five-year one line journal." I regret not buying it because it seems like such a cute and good idea. Obviously, I have a journal now; but I would definitely wants something like this in the future. http://www.amazon.com/Day-5-Year-Journal-Potter-Style/dp/0307719774/ref=pd_sim_b_4. This is just a cool way to interact with writing and keep good memories.

In class today, Attorney Gordon talked about an honor society for Paralegal students with exceptional academic ability. It's called Lambda Epsilon Chi (LEX). Since I'm in such a small program only one or two people per graduating semester get picked. I have set this as my goal to achieve. Nothing will prove to me more that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I joked from time to time that I will be valedictorian, but I really want to do it and do it right. This is part of my goal of no longer being second best. Well 1.5 years left to prove my stuff.

10 things you shouldn't say to a customer service person

I've heard a lot of crazy things in my life as a customer service agent.  Here is a list of the top 10 things that do not help your case and will probably make me judge you.

1. "I have 200 friends on facebook and I'm going to be sure to tell them never to go to ____" Wow, only 200 friends.  That's the problem with social media these days, most people think they're more important than they really are.  So you have 200 friend, one or two may actually read your posts while the other 198 don't give a shit. 
2. "I can't believe your office isn't open 24-hours a day." What a noble idea to help the economy, but let me ask you this, would you like to stay up until the wee hours working? Neither do I. 
3. "I know ____, he's the owner of the company."  Oh really?! Then why are you calling me instead of him. Again, if you're so important and on his radar, then by all means go through that channel and leave me alone. 
4. "My kid has (insert mental of physical handicap) and I can't believe you treated us this way. I'm going to write to the ADA."  If we were doing something illegal, I would know.  The ADA says "reasonable accommodations," not special treatment. I understand that in some cases you may need extra assistance, but don't milk it. You're ruining it for the people that truly need help.
5. "I only want to speak to a supervisor." Believe it or not, I have the same authority as my supervisor. In fact, my supervisor is just there to make sure I don't hang myself while listening to rant.  So don't start off on the wrong foot by belittling me. 
6. "Well, no one ever told me...." Sounds like a personal problem.  Why don't you try taking some responsibility for your actions.  I don't just show up places and expect them to tell me everything I need to know.  You would end up more mad if you had to take a class every time you tried to go somewhere or do something.  A little tiny bit of effort on your part goes a long way.
7. "That will be the last time I EVER visit you, I'm going to (competitor)" Bye! I'm pretty sure you'll be back though, the next time your kids beg to come visit. And I KNOW you'll be back if I give you free stuff. Sucker.
8. "I paid in cash and have no receipt, but I swear I'm not lying" Hello red flag.  You see yourself as a brilliant actor. I see you as a mother fucking scammer. Stop wasting my time.
9. "Hi, I'm standing outside the customer service area and they're not helping me." The mommy vs daddy routine works sometimes, but most times it means that you didn't get the answer you want because what you want goes against our rules. Calling us, isn't going to help you. Talk to the people in front of you.
10. "I think I should be compensated for my pain and suffering." May I please bring this into perspective.  In your mind you may have suffered, but you should be thanking your lucky stars that you are not enslaved, sick, destitute, starving.  Instead of wasting your money on self-indulgence, why don't you do something that matters.

Sometimes I think I live in the ocean

Don't get me wrong, I love the water and I would love to live in the water, but these past few days have been so rainy. Today it's been raining full force since 5 AM.  One thing I've noticed about Florida, which differs from New York or Boston, is that people get real stupid here in the rain.  I think one place canceled classes. If this were Boston, I would have no excuse to not come to class rain or shine.

Thank goodness that I've had off for two days, but work is horrible when it rains. Everyone feels the need to call and ask if the parks are open. I can only say that it rains EVERYDAY during the summer and to shut down operations just because of water would be insane. Never mind logic though. There's vacationer's logic and then there's reality.

I feel bad for Charger. She's been getting yelled at all day because she's being so rowdy.  She has not had a chance to run around outside for two days. Hopefully this weather will clear up tonight and we will be able to run her around all day.

My favorite news stories from this week

There's a lot of stuff going on this week in the world.  I'm going to keep my favorite news stories positive.

1. World's guiltiest dog she's so cute! I like the pretty girl smile too. One day, I hope I have a good dog.
2. Tsunami dolphin rescue.  Again another cute animal. I love baby dolphins (shocker!!!)
3. Universal Orlando for sale? I would buy it, but I can't even pay for my car this month.
4. Windermere Mayor: Town manager's husband pushed me.  Talk about dog and pony show.  It's so hard to get to work when the one road out of town is blocked by news cameras and people focusing on nothing.

My dog is a bully

Today was by far the worst day I've had with Charger.  I try to walk her every day, like a good pet owner, but she went crazy. Instead it took 40 minutes to get up and back to my house. She was biting me aggressively to the point when I returned home, both of my calves were bloody. My neighbors probably think I was abusing my dog, but I was trying to defend myself.  A bunch of people came out and saw me pinning my dog on the ground to get her to stop biting me. Which only enraged her more. 20 minutes to torture back to the house.

I was so frustrated and disheartened I told my parents I didn't want her anymore and that she should get turned into a fur coat. At which point, my parents blamed me and told me it was my fault for letting her bite me. At that point, I cried a large amount of tears, punched a wall, screamed at them to go to hell then went to the gym to blow off some steam.  This was all before 11 AM by the way. Hell, must have froze over, because I'd rather be at work being screamed at about things I have no control over then be home.

Honestly, I'm afraid of my dog now.  No one believes that she physically hurts me. I show them my scars and my parents blame me. So with this losing situation, I have no idea what to do. Our dog trainer is coming tomorrow. I want to take a video camera out on my walk to show them what it is like walking with her attacking me.

The above is the best video I've found so far explaining how to get her to stop biting. Each day is a new opportunity....to learn something.

An obvious danger

"I cannot imagine any condition which would cause a ship to founder. I cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to this vessel. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that."-  John C. Smith, captain of the Titanic.

I feel like many Americans have the same attitude towards the potential nuclear fallout in Japan. As much as we'd like to believe that the problems exist a world away, the problem is...we're all on one world. What happens here effects what happens there, and vice versa.

I bet the people who built nuclear fallout shelters in the 60s are laughing now.  Shouldn't we be sending every professional possible to help think of a solution?

I'm starting to believe that the world really will end in 2012.

Fix what you can

I'm really mad at Libya because gas prices are a little insane. You can have all the civil unrest you'd like, but please don't mess up the gas prices. There never seems to be enough money.  While I am very thankful I can live comfortably, I'm still not in a place where I would feel comfortable.

Today, I went to the mall. I never go to the mall because I cannot afford anything there. One day. One day, I will have a job where half my paycheck will not go towards one shirt. As you can imagine, the mall was not a pleasure trip. My computer charger had its last charge last night. My computer is six years old this year. Knock on wood, will last for another six years. This was an unexpected expense to say the least. I spent $82.00 on a Mac cable which is basically obsolete. Apparently, these machines are suppose to last two years max. This makes sense as I've gone through two chargers since getting this computer. And of course, today was the day when I needed to use the computer to write my speech for class.

Looking at a new computer is very much out of the question. Mine works fine...when it has power. Lately I've found myself, with a lot of old stuff. I've decided to repair things old school style.
Yesterday, I sewed a hole in my socks. Today, I sewed Charger's monkey. I don't see why, people would just throw something out because it has a hole. It is time consuming, yes. But think about the hours of torture you worked in order to buy a new item.

My other savings tip is for things like shampoo, creams, etc. The bottle is not empty! I've been using the same bottle of shampoo for a very long time. The pump stopped pumping a while ago. Normally people would just throw out the bottle. I was so mad at the cream I purchased, which stopped pumping almost a week. I'm still using the cream though. I just open the pump and use the cream directly. Again, this is a little more time-consuming, but it definitely saves money.

Also, bring your lunch to work!!! It saves so much money per day.

Monkey says: "Fix what you can! Save the difference!"

Commenting on Current Event: Lady Gaga eyes legal action over breast milk ice cream

Check out this article picked up by AFP titled "Lady Gaga eyes legal action over breast milk ice cream".  At first, I could not believe this was a news story, but of course if it's on the Yahoo! homepage, I'm going to read it.

To summarize: Lady Gaga's people sent a cease and desist letter to this ice cream company selling breast milk ice cream called "Baby Gaga." 


As if breast milk ice cream is not weird enough, Lady Gaga seems to think she's associated with the product. This case is playing out in London, but I've been learning about business law for the whole year and am going to analyze this case as if it were abiding by U.S laws. 


Lady Gaga must prove that this company named the ice cream with the intent to sell based off the name. Both the words "baby" and "gaga" are generic terms, so I do not believe she has a case. Now the name bears a strong resemblance to the celebrity's name, but it is not called "Lady Gaga's breast milk ice cream." Does this mean every time that a lady goes gaga for something, Lady Gaga can seek royalties?  If both parties were smart, they should partner together to find a reasonable solution. I would not back down and change the name of the ice cream.

If these were hickeys it would make more sense

These were once my beautiful ballet-toned legs, they're mostly just bruised, but I want to document some evidence in case I need to sue my dog. Just kidding. The brown spots are not a skin disease but bruises from where Charger has bit my legs. I have a really bad one on the right leg where it bends. Ouch! I've tried everything including spraying myself with sour stuff to get her to stop. When she gets in her biting/play moods, there's really no stopping. She also chomped on my hand today. Biting puppy with no signs of it ceasing is this week's fail.

On a win note, mom has only had one breakdown so far. And Charger also knows "down" completely.  Oh the joys of puppy hood.

According to Valencia, I'm on "Spring Break" this week? I only am taking three days off from work, (to watch the puppy), so it's hardly a vacation. The days are slipping by and I have little time left to write a ton of stuff.

Puppy Week 2 Update

Today Charger went to puppy school and of course she was a perfect little angel. I think the class was mostly for us humans and telling us that everything is normal. We also learned how to deal with her puppy issues like crying, biting, peeing. Very knowledgeable people. In case you're in Florida, we use http://www.floridak9services.com/. Charger even got to meet some other dogs and only freaked out for two minutes.

After class, we went to the vet for our two month check up. Charger scared a puppy and got yelled at by an angry mom (not my mom for once). She also got microchipped and her ears cleaned. The silly dog didn't even notice the giant needle because she was eating tons of treats.

We made our way back and stopped a Chik-fil-A for some lunch while Charger ate and played in the parking lot. We went to Petsmart and talked to another trainer there, who basically contradicted a lot of what the first trainer says, but I'm more likely to believe the first trainer. We got her a longer leash and some clean up stuff. I got some anti-biting spray, which I will probably use on my clothes as well.

Wow! Looks like Charger has her own photo blog. Check it out http://chargergsd.tumblr.com/.

Drinking the fruit punch

I think I'm going to share some wisdom. Every so often I get the impending feeling of doom and think that I need to put my thoughts in writing in case the inevitable. So here are a few thoughts I try to live by. It helps me get through the day and especially motivates me towards the future.

1. "Each day is a new opportunity to help someone." My buddies from work say this like we're a cult. I created this mantra after a breaking point where I no longer believe in justice or humanity. I say it every time I get frustrated.

2. "You can have all the most beautiful plants in the world, but I'm not a millionaire." Sadly, we do not remember who said this, but I have taken this nugget of wisdom and use it to explain a lot. It's true, you really can have all the beautiful things, plants, etc., in the world - and still not be a millionaire. I interpret this as, Happiness is what you make it.

3. "Treat each client like they're your father." My paralegal studies professor said this on our second class and it makes a lot of sense. You can substitute "client" with "person"and not only does it remind us all to treat each other with respect, but to treat the information we learn about people with confidentiality.

4. "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - Macbeth (Act V, Scene V). I memorized this passage in 11th grade. It basically means that you can yell and complain all you like, but in the end no one cares. Everyone has their own issues, but also has their own lives - so however wronged you may be. Essentially no one cares.

5. "[So] you can settle for a less-than-ordinary life; but you feel like you were meant for something better. Something special." - Star Trek (2009). Capt. Pike says this to Kirk after he gets his ass kicked in a bar. Everyone has their destiny. Don't settle - ever.

6. "Whatever happen already happened. So minimize your losses." This is another quote from my paralegal studies teacher. We were talking about defending murderers, but it also makes sense for real life. There's no sense dwelling on the past, so know when to pick your battles, and choose the next best option. 

I hope you enjoyed a jaunt through my mind. If you have any other nuggets of wisdom, I'm easily swayed to adding them into my life.

Top 10 Odd Human Behaviors from a Dog's Perspective

 Today, I tried to put into perspective what it must be like to be a dog. This top 10 is from a dog's perspective on out odd human behavior.

10. Humans stare at screens all day when they can play outside.
9. Humans are overly sensitive when it comes to play fighting, biting, and sniffing butts.
8. Humans like to be dragged on a leash down the road.
7. Humans are careless and messy. They throw balls over and over and I have to go get them.
6. Humans don't lick back.
5. They wear chew toys on their feet.
4. Humans talk on chew toys to other humans, when they can just bark.
3. Sometimes humans don't finish all their food!
2. Humans like to take baths and clip their own nails on purpose?!!?
1. Humans collect poop in a bag?!

Night 5: It was just the turtle

Ok, the loud bang in the previous post was just the turtle knocking over his tank cover. If I have not stated this before, let it be known that my parents are much too old to have a puppy. A lesson learned. I just started bawling and made my dad promise that he would not lie to me. I made him promise that if absolutely came down to it, that we would re-home Charger rather than telling me she ran away or got hit by a car. I probably would sue the pants off someone if I found out they lied to me. My dad said he would "never do anything like that." But the influence of an angry old Chinese woman, may override it all. I suppose police dogs are working dogs that come home at night, so maybe it will go the same way. I can only hope that Charger grows up quick and my dad stay strong. Once the pack leader goes down, we're all screwed.

Day 5: Creative solutions

I'm running out of creative solutions to help my family. Mom and puppy do not get along at all. My mom is old and set in her ways. I refuse to let myself believe this was a bad idea. I'm fairly certain though that my grades are going to tank from here til the end of the semester. I'm exhausted and have such a short amount of patience that it's effecting my work as well. But anything worth having, is worth fighting for.

I've thought of everything including bringing her to work and just leaving her at the Universal kennels.  Tomorrow, Johnny is going to be an awesome boyfriend and watching her for a bit while I'm at school. My dad takes her to work sometimes.

There are moments, where I just want to scream back at mom and tell her to "get over it." Her situation sucks, but pessimism an the pity party is over. Oh no, something just went bang pretty hard. I'll be back later.

"They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious" - Muse - Uprising

Beef by the handful!

I can cross "throwing objects at a high velocity at other humans" off my bucket list. I lived a life long dream by riding a Mardi Gras float and throwing beads at a throng of people. I mean thousands of people. I trained humans to jump for plastic beads.

It was a lot of fun just throwing things at people. I just took my pent up aggression and threw beads to all the people in the far back. It was amazing and a great work out. I feel like, if everyday was a parade, people would be happier. Angry people could be put on a float and throw things at other humans.

In addition, I can technically cross off "Parade performer" from my bucket list. Although, I was not a pie, I was a parrot.

Day 4: Exhaustion

Dear loyal readers,

I am running out of energy. I'm still superwoman, just with a touch of exhaustion. I find myself sleeping everywhere I can. I sleep on the roof during my lunch, I sleep in the car if I'm early to class/work, I sleep at Johnny's house (which is my happy place) the sad part is that it's never enough. I do not know how my dad is doing it as he sleeps on the couch/floor with Charger then works all day.

Yesterday, mom had her first of 100000000 breakdowns and locked herself in the bedroom crying until I got home (luckily only 20 minutes later). She never was the supermom that you see today taking kids to soccer, while working on 20 different projects. So basically, I've stepped up as an adult and cater to her when I can. Unfortunately, I still work (and my dad does too) and I go to school - so she needs to make some concessions or get over it. My dad will take Charger to work with him in the afternoon so my mom can watch Judge Judy. If you're wondering; no, I have no idea how my brother and I survived childhood.

I've begun looking at puppy daycare places, but she needs to be a bit older before we can send her places.

My dad is superdad. He sleeps with Charger on the floor then when we wake up he sleeps a bit more. Then he goes to work, comes back home in the afternoon and picks her up to bring her home. Then watches her until I come home or vice versa. He also totally killed a giant roach for me at 12:45 AM. Super dad. 

Some more unexpected things: Charger hates walking. I'm going to try a new technique tomorrow. I'm pretty sure dogs are supposed to like walking rather than tearing up the house. It took her two hours to poop today, after my mom screamed at me at 6:50AM to take her out. She also freaked out on my neighbors dog, just barking and carrying on. I have no idea how to handle her when she does that. I'm reading a lot on the internet so we shall see what's going on. Bob may come over and help me train her, he did wonders with Chase.

Each day is a new opportunity - to find somewhere to sleep, to maybe study for my midterm, to learn a new skill at work.

The good thing and bad thing about puppyhood - is that it ends. Hopefully, sooner rather than later. I do want to thank my friends who have been so supportive. Telling me that I look exhausted, so I know it's not in my head and also providing valuable tips for helping me survive mentally and physically. I do not know what I would do without all of you.

Day 2: Ankle Biting

It seems all the sleeping Charger did yesterday energized her quite a bit into a normal puppy. She is definitely in the teething, mouthing phase. I almost had to go to work with her attached to my ankle. Luckily, I learned some tips from a friend to teach her the difference between play time and owie times. She bites pretty hard, I have some gnarly battle scars.

Today I also cleaned up my first pile of monster turd. I was told that it was going to be big, but was grossly under prepared. My years of Animal Care did nothing to prepare me for her pile. The smell made me gag twice. YUCK! I hear that it only gets worse too.

We took Charger to the Verizon store to be socialized. Day two in the car was less traumatic, but she learned she can bark and get attention from mom and dad instantaneously. She's very good with people and at this point is not fearful of noises and cars. Above is Charger and I on a bench. I was trying to see what she'd look like when her ears perk up.

Tomorrow will be the first day that my mom will be home alone with her all day. My mom is more like the NO person. My dad is the fun pack leader, while I'm her sister. Crazy Uncle Johnny is the fun one. That being said, my mom just follows her around and poorly corrects her behavior. Charger is still not fond of being locked up. My parents won't let me train her though. She wimpers and everyone starts running.

Things Charger has Trained my Parents to do:

1. Circle around sniffing = Go outside (My mom thinks every time she circles, she is going to pee. This has caused my mom to come in and out every 10 minutes.)
2. Crying, whimpering, carrying on = lots of petting and attention
3. Crate crying = Dad sleeping on the couch all night.

We definitely got to get on the right page with her. My poor ankles can't take much more.

p.s. In a funny twist, I bought my first pair of sneakers since 2004, so I can walk her easily. I wore heels for 30 minutes today to do something and epic fail. I now have three fancy blisters.

Charger origin

A lot of people have asked me where I got the name Charger from and here is the reason. On the left is Charger the original dog. I rediscovered him as we were cleaning out our garage in 2004. On that same day I had gotten accepted into Marymount Manhattan College. I wanted to call him Lucky, but my mom said that German Shepherds charge and so we named him Charger.

Fast forward seven years, and here Charger is now taking a nap with his counter part: Charger Lilypad Allen Marie (on right).  Charger is obviously named after Charger. Lilypad is for the irony factor when she gets trained as a guard dog. Allen is my dad's human best friend in real life. And Marie because it's a good last name.

Chargers already know their name. And really like to dance.  If you haven't seen the youtube video yet, definitely check her out:

Puppy: Day 1

Beyond all believable bounds my puppy Charger hates walking, refuses to enter her crate, loves to sleep, will only pee/poop outside, and is an ankle biter. I prepared for a lot of things and all of it was nothing I anticipated. The best thing about Charger is that she is potty trained. I thought yesterday may be a fluke, but it turns out that she will only pee and poop on grass. In addition, she hates concrete, so she'll only poop in our front yard. Amazing!

The bad thing was that she doesn't sleep in her crate. My dad slept on the couch all night with his hand on her. My dad said, "this is what I use to do with you and your brother when you were babies." My parents are taking a liking to Charger. My mom is surprisingly is doing well with her and actually was the one who figured out where she likes to poo the best.

Charger, the ankle biter, also had her first car ride today. We took her to the bank and to Petsmart. Charger did not like riding in the car, and tried to hide under the seat even though I had her on my lap. I also learned that she likes ice cubes. I don't think she's ever had anything like ice before. The bank people gave her some biscuits and petted her. Petsmart people were great too. I hope this counts as socialization. 

Charger has only freaked out when she sees a small white dog. Big white dogs are ok, but small white ones are incredibly scary. I don't blame her, they tend to bark...a lot. Cody (a dog friend) is suppose to visit today. Cody is a small white dog. We will see how it goes.

Night 1: It's a girl!

I feel like a new mom. After weeks of waiting and a week of being overdue. I welcome Charger Lilypad Allen Marie into the house. Now I was a work, school and driving (literally!) all day. I came home and my dad had picked up the puppy and brought her home.

I made a phone call during my class break. I remember my mom using the words "Bizerk" and "OMG" and "what are we going to do" several times. All of these statements are extremes for my mom. I imagined Charger pinned my parents into a corner and biting them or something. It was incredibly hard to focus on class after that. It usually takes me an hour to drive home, I made it back in less than 30 minutes. I even made an emergency tennis ball stop. Thank god Johnny has tennis balls readily available.

A few funny things I didn't expect. (Again, like a new mom). It turns out Charger is very food motivated. VERY food motivated. She pretty much potty trainer herself. I took her outside for about a half hour and she wouldn't pee unless she was on the grass. And the most challenging problem, which I never would have anticipated, is that she HATES her crate. Let's look at the psychology.

My dad went to pick her up. Tossed her into the crate and drove 2 hours with her. Where she was in a strange location greeted by a frantic Asian woman. They locked her in the crate while they ate dinner. I'd say, after all that I'd be traumatized too. I've read so many puppy books that all warn against this "fear period." I'm afraid the damage done today will be too much to overcome. I got some great tips from friends though and we're gonna work on it.

Charger has an obsession with hiding under our coffee table. Actually, that's where she is now, my dad is sleeping with her on the couch. Hopefully, my mom won't freak out. My dad also found her off button. Don't tell any robbers, but if you rub under her chin she passes out.

I hope this goes well. It's going to be a long few days, but I bet most memorable. Photo blog coming soon!

Five News stories that grind my gears

This section should be called, what is the world coming to. The sad reality is these stories are considered the norm and status quo. It is too much ask for more than complacency?

1. "Scientist find Gulf bottom still oily, dead" by AP. Did people honestly believe that millions of gallons of crude oil that spilled into the ocean would just disappear like magic? It's all well and good that BP paid for the on-shore clean up, but what about the water eco-system that covers the other 75% of the Earth? People remember Exxon-Valdez and were outraged. Where is the outrage with this case. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose. 
2. Saving Planned Parenthood - Honestly, where did this come from. I normally do not comment on extreme topics publicly, but taking away the education, the choice and the health care for women is not logical at all. I am glad that the reaction is the way it is. This is not an abortion debate, it's a debate about women rights. The government fund so many random projects, why take away funding from something that matters?
3. I saw this story on CNN an hour ago about Zahara Baker. Zahara was a 10-year old childhood cancer survivor, whose stepmother was just charged with her murder. I am under the impression that adults are supposed to protect children and help them grow into responsible adults, not murder them and chop up her body. Nothing aggravates me more than parents that kill their children for whatever reason. If you did not want a child, then why did you have it to begin with? I hope this little girl gets justice and is able to rest in peace. 
4. And finally Closures on the 408!!! Why must they do construction during the week? This road is notoriously crowded from 4pm to 6pm. This is the only way I know how to get to class and I drive about an hour to get there. So tomorrow, I will be trying to figure out an alternate route. UG!

Work tips from a dolphin with a big head

It's a miracle, but some how I managed to get all the deadlined tasks done. I learned a few things this weeks about getting things done with as much detail as possible:

1. Don't multi-task! I know it's so tempting to do. I'm a huge multi-tasker, but it turns out that you get things done faster and with greater accuracy when you focus on one project at a time and complete one project at a time. Planning well is essential for getting things done on time. 
2. Do not start a project late at night or when you're exhausted. One of two things will happen: You will either fall asleep on your project, thus causing you to have to delete it anyway and start again, because your face was on your keyboard and hit a lot of letters. Or you will get so awake and into your project that you won't sleep, then you're exhausted the next few days, bringing you back up to subpoint one. 
3. At work, do not do attempt to do a side project unless you're done with your main work. I had to stop and explain to people so many times, why I was researching, that it took focus away from what I was doing. While these people are just nosy, it breaks the concentration. 
4. Don't work anywhere or anytime your mother is awake. She will need something or want attention. The same things in point 3 will occur, except to someone with a lesser amount of understanding. 
5. Pray it rains. It is so hard to focus when it's a beautiful day outside, the birds are chirping and you just want to work outside. 
6. Take time away from the projects to focus on yourself at least an hour or two. You'll become too consumed with the details if you work, work, work. When a project is done, and you've checked it over. Hand it in. You have done the best you can do, and move on to the next. 

That's all I got. If you have addition please comment!

This week's fail & win

Yesterday I wrote about my planning and schedule system I have in place. I sounded all organized and stuff. Call me a hypocrite, and completely failed. I made a point to wake up early to get to work on time. Well, it turns out that I did not check my schedule prior to going to bed. I arrived at work at 8:15 AM and when I went to sign in I found I was really in at 10:00 AM. Epic fail.

Well rather than wasting the time, I used it to catch up on some school work. Time well spent, but epic fail none the less.
-

Now for the win!!! It looks like Charger Lilypad Allen Marie is finally coming home. My puppy! I can't wait. I feel like an expectant mom. I'll post tons of pictures when we get her.

Even dolphins run out of time

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.”
-Jim Rohn


At the beginning of the semester, I did a time assessment of how many hours in a week versus how many hours I have committed. There are a total of 168 hours in a week. I think it worked out that 68 hours a week I'm doing stuff, while the rest of the time I'm either eating/sleeping or catching up on personal stuff. 


Today I looked at my calendar and had a panic attack. I'm very organized. I have three calendars: My personal planner which comes with me everywhere. This calendar really need to be bigger, because I write so much stuff. My Google calendar. God forbid anyone every truly stalk me, they will know my exact position in the day based off this calendar. Then there's my desk calendar, which lists monthly due dates. This coming week, I have an abnormal amount of tasks due. It's almost like teachers and supervisors plan these due dates to collide at once.


With the recent opportunities coming up, I have to stay on task and organized. There's only a few hours a day, in which one can work properly before passing out.  And with Criminal Minds marathons on every day of the week. It's multi-task or die trying!

In Concert: Frankie Valli

By far the best concert I have seen in years was "Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons" at Universal's Mardi Gras. The collection of songs just got better as the night went on and my parents were pleasantly surprised about how much fun I was having.

Leading up to the event, I thought, that it would be a bunch of old guys in walkers propped up next to a microphone. This was only partially true. The Four Seasons turn out to be like that Mexican boy band that Ricky Martin came from. When  guy gets too old, they switch out with a handsome guy who can sing and dance. Maybe I'm a suck for cheap choreography, but wow! Those Four Seasons made the night. 

Only once did I believe that Mr. Valli wasn't going to make it the whole show, but a wardrobe change fixed the problem. He even did a longer encore than 3 Doors Down last year. No one uses a live "orchestra" any more either. So for a performance quality I'm definitely giving it an A!

"Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road"

"You are assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold - the contrary. Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party." - Star Trek 2009

Have you ever had a moment when you look back at where you are now, and think this is exactly where you're supposed to be? The events of my life and everything leading up to present day happen for a reason. We may think our path is supposed to go in one direction, but the pieces fall completely different.

The day before my birthday, I had a really bad job interview and I thought that would be the end of it. It turns out, the sequence of events lead to another opportunity.  At that moment, I could not see the path or why had to be the way, but looking back it all makes sense.

It's truly a blessing when the pieces to life's puzzles fall together, and you can start to see the big picture. Maybe the big picture is always there and taking some self-reflection time is all that is needed to gain some of this clarity.

Another full circle thing is friendships. About a year ago, I literally changed social groups. For some reason, I thought I would never have friends again and blah blah. Looking back on that decision, proves that it was the best decision socially in terms of responsibility and surrounding myself with positive people. I would have never met my Johnny unless these events happen.

A few things before bed

Did you know that baby killer whales and baby dolphins can forgo sleeping for their first month of life? You wouldn't either if you were born into water and your mom was constantly swimming.

On the contrary, humans operate best with 7 hours of rest at least. Humans die if we do not sleep for at most 8 days. 

The longest day time I spent awake was 22 hours, this past New Year's Eve. I never would have made it home, had it not been the cold air and loud music.

Tomorrow I'm giving a speech on the benefits of yoga. Some stretches I like to do before bed, help to open up the chest and the back. When we are stressed we tend to haunch forward and anyone who works on a desk more than likely has poor posture. So by stretching the shoulder back and stretching the arms behind you will help your body.

I will post a video of my speech by the end of the week.

Superbowl XLV Half-Time Show

Haters be hating. That was the best superbowl half-time performance since NSYNC. I knew it would be awesome with the sky drop entrance. Ignoring the singing, the compilation of songs were all my favorite Black Eyed Peas hits. Flash Mob dancers?! Awesome. Gone are the days when the random people run onto the field and just mosh pit. The choreography was much like the opening to the Beijing Olympics meets the Blue Man Group.

Things that made the half-time show awesome:

1. Fly-in entrance
2. Light up stage that morphs
3. Flash mob dancers
4. Flash mob dancers that light up
5. Flash mob dancers that can turn into arrows
6. SLASH performing the best guitar rift in history
7. Usher's jump split
8. Box-people dancers
9. Flares! and Lazer beams
10. Packers winning

On a side note, the Darth Vader kid was the best commercial. 

Sunday quick thought

One day, I will have a job that allows me to buy new clothes for myself and presents for other people. The search should be every day.

The Real Cadets of the Starship Enterprise [Episode 1: WWKD]

I checked my LiveJournal for the first time in a year, and it turns out I won an award for a FanFiction piece I wrote about Star Trek (2009). It won Best Comedy on this random forum. I do not use LiveJournal anymore, so I'm posting it here for posterity.

Author: MissAstonishing

Title: The Real Cadets of the Starship Enterprise [Episode 1: WWKD]

Rating: PG 13. Nothing too dirty, but it’s getting hot in here.

Characters: Spock, Uhura, Hannity, Kirk, Bones,

Words: 2093

Disclaimer: Of course I own Star Trek, because LJ would be the first place I’d post my work if I did. Sue me Paramount. <3

Summary:  A few weeks on the Enterpise and the drama begins to heat up including the reaction to Vulcan mating day.

Author's Notes: This is MissAstonishing’s first fanfic. She hopes it is as funny as she thinks it is. Should this episode prove successful, she will considering writing more. Please leave comments.

"It was," Spock paused trying to find the right word to describe his thought. An all too eager and equally perplexed James T. Too-Many-Women-to-Count Kirk leaned in to hear what his brilliant first officer was about to say.

"It was... pneumatic," Spock lied, suggesting his night with Uhura was more than just the usual mediation and mind meld.

"Pneu...pneumatic!" Kirk said exasperated. "Spock, you had sex, in what I'm guessing is the first time in a long time, if not ever, with the one girl who 95-percent of males on this ship would do and all you can say about it is PNEUMATIC?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.  Lowering his voice he said, "I am sorry my, sex life, is not as exciting as yours Mr. Kirk." He thought for a moment. After all, these conversations were not regulation even between Captain and First Officer. He chose to redirect, "not that these matters should concern you, Captain."

"Hey, hey you came to me," Kirk said rolling his eyes. Kirk knew he had gotten all the information he was going to get out of Spock regarding the matter. In fact, he was surprised Spock even admitted it. "Just know that I'm here for you buddy. Whatever questions you might have."

The Vulcan stared into his handheld computer for a moment and continued eating his meal.

Somewhere across the Enterprise, a sweaty Uhura was finishing her work out. A nosy Hannity and two other women stood near by.

"I heard that it's Vulcan mating season," Hannity said loudly. "I did some research and the event only occurs once every seven years. Can you imagine? The poor man."

"Well if his ears are any indication of how well endowed he is," said the other woman giggled.

"I pity the female who he chooses to relieve his primal desires on," sneered Hannity. The three woman glanced towards Uhura and laughed.

She heard them. She wanted to go over and slap each of them, but of course, didn't. Uhura was acutely aware of Hannity's jealousy ever since she had risen to the rank of chief communications officer faster than a Romulan ship through a wormhole. It didn't matter to anyone that she was actually qualified for the job. Rumors, harsh rumors were being spread about her and her relationship with the ship's first officer and sometimes even the Captain. There was even a crazy one about Uhura and Checkov. Nevertheless, she continued at her routine day after day. Their attacks fueled her desire to achieve more.

Uhura stood. She patted her forehead with a towel and walked towards the changing area. Upon passing the gaggle of women she turned and said, "You know Hannity, the Commander is only HALF Vulcan and completely male."

With that she tossed her towel into a bin and continued on her way. A sly smile stretched across her face as she strut. Hannity and the women were left speechless.

--

"Drama, drama, drama," exclaimed Kirk. "I don't know what it is Bones. The whole ship is abuzz about this whole mating season thing. Meanwhile I'm here, not being mated upon at all. I don't understand. They should be all over me. I mean, I am THE captain after all."

"Well, first of all, last time I checked, you are not Vulcan and I'm sure you will find a creative outlet for this problem," Bones said as he continued looking at different monitors.

Completely engrossed in himself Kirk said, "this must be what OTHER people feel like." He shook his head, swung his feet off Bones' desk and left the Medical Bay.

 "Just don't...don't throw that Vulcan mating day party you and Sulu were talkin' about," Bones said matter-of-factly before turning to realize Kirk had already left. He sighed.

--

It was late. Only ten point two five more minutes until the third shift was to take over for the night. Spock was unable to focus. He found himself staring at his notepad. What was on the pad, however, was not scientific notes related to any sort of the research the Enterprise was conducting. Instead, "Human Relationships and Mating Rituals by Dr. LeeRoy R. Westheimer" complete with interactive illustrations and video files, filled the screen. The bemused first officer had been studying it all day and for the past three days. Sure, he should have been working, but his mind could not help it, he could make up the work at a later date.

"That's some interesting research you're conducting, Commander," a sultry female voice whispered into his pointed ear, startling him. Spock quickly changed the page and jumped up.

Remaining calm as he spoke, "Lieutenant, you are eight minutes early for your shift."

"I know," she said. She approached him closely and entering his personal bubble. "I just had some unfinished projects I wanted to get your advice on. After all you are my mentor."

"Yes, of course," he said. "What would you like me to review?"

A few items came up on the monitor. Spock turned to examine the data. He was all business.

"Would you like a cupcake?" she asked playfully. "I think you will find that food, is the best way to a human's heart." 

As he turned to look at what she brought, her graceful hand shoved a piece into his mouth. Fascinating. His mother use to make such cakes in cup form on the anniversary of his birth. Although his face showed no emotion, he did enjoy it quite a bit.

"You like it?" she asked seductively.

Spock responded the only way he knew how. "Lieutenant Hannity, you know sustenance is not permitted in anywhere outside of the mess hall or private quarters." She scowled. "I shall not report you, but do not let it happen again."

Hannity feeling ballsy sucked on her frosting covered index finger and nodded in acknowledgment.

"I'm sorry Spock. Sometimes, I get these desires for succulent things," she whispered. She was so close. Every inhale he took smelled like her recently consumed chocolate cupcake.

Just as Spock was about to say something the research station doors opened. A flustered and shocked Uhura entered and stood for a moment glaring at the pair. And in an instant she turned and was gone. Spock chased immediately after her, leaving Hannity standing alone in the research lab.

Uhura walked quickly to her private quarters. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes.

"Damn it Nyota," she thought to herself. "Wishing only wounds the heart." She should have known better. How could she have been so stupid and naive to think that of all the people in the universe she would be the one to capture his affection. 

She rounded a corner and started punching in her open door codes on the pad.

"Access denied."

She punched it again, this time with more fervor.

"Access denied."

"Ugh!" she exclaimed aloud. She was so frustrated.

"Lieutenant!" Spock called from the other end of the hall. He looked as calm as ever. She looked at him with sadness, anger and wonder.

"What do you want?" She said as she once again tried to input her passcode.

Spock came close. He grabbed her wrist before she could finish. She whirled and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I believe you can stand there all day inputting your code into Officer Sulu's door to get the same result," his attempt at breaking the moment with humor failed.

Uhura pulled her wrists back sharply. She marched down the hall to where Spock stood earlier and input her code.

"Access granted. Welcome home Lieutenant Uhura,"

Spock followed her into her private quarters.

"Did I say you could come in?" she demanded her back to him still.

He did not understand why she was upset at him. He did not do anything wrong. Figures a human female would have an overreaction to another female in the presence of a male. His studies did not inform him about what to do in a situation like this, nor did any interactions between his mother and father help.

W-W-K-D he thought to himself. Acting on his human impulse, he once again grabbed the Lieutenant's wrist and pushed her up against the wall - planting a deeply passionate kiss on her lips.

She slapped him, just as she did Kirk at the Iowa bar a little over four years earlier.

"Just what were YOU and Hannity doing in the research lab so late?" She questioned, before she went off on her tirade. "I was waiting for you for nearly five minutes. Do you know what a day I've had? Do you know what type of manipulative person she is?"

Uhura stopped tired and exasperated.

"I was merely eating her cup cake," he responded. "I did not intend on any interaction, but she forced it upon me. Furthermore, I did not anticipate you entering at the exact moment..."

"Well," she cut him off. "I didn't look like you were overly protesting."

"My mother use to make cups of cakes," he began, but stopped realizing it did not matter what he said. "If I have done anything to offend you. I am truly sorry. It was not my intention."

She rolled her eyes. Of course she would forgive him. One look at those deep dark eyes logical eyes and she was done. Her guard instantly let down.

"I wish you knew," she said. "What Hannity and the others on the ship say about you, me."

"I do know," he said with a slight air of sympathy. "As you humans say, 'sticks and stones may cause bodily harm, but words are just units of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation and cannot hurt me.'"

"Almost," she laughed.

She embraced him. They kissed. Her fingers run through his hair to the side of his cheeks and to caress his ears to right to the very tip. Then like a magician's assistant she whipped off his uniform top. Laughs and pounces onto her bed his blue uniform in her hands. 

Standing topless he paused for a moment. He tried to recall his research, but it was all blocked out by one voice playing over in his mind. It was Kirk saying "Spock, it'll work." He trusted his instinct, his desires rushed over him. He followed onto her bed. Removing her uniform while simultaneously kissing her body up all the way to her lips. What a rush! The tips of his ears tingled with excitement. His eyebrows fluctuated on his forehead between concerned and amused.

He struggled for a few moment with her bra clasp. No Vulcan fancy finger work prepared him for this moment. Deciding to let her take it off herself, they continued the passion.

"Spock wait!" she said out of breath. Spock immediately stopped his kisses and caresses. "Is it true that Vulcans...that you, are only like this once every seven years?"

"Indeed," he affirmed. She looked disappointed. "But as it is that I am half human male. The desire for female companionship should be about several times a week maybe more, as I see necessary. Do not fret about the math, biology or logic of the situation.."

"Spock..." she cut him off. "I think I love you."

"That is so..." he smirked. "Fascinating."

"Computer. Dim lights," Uhura commanded as the bed covers rustled into the night.

-----

At precisely 0755 hours, Spock walked gallantly onto the bridge. It was empty. He raised an eyebrow. A moment later, Kirk, Sulu, Checkov, and McCoy burst forth from a door on the opposite side of the deck.

"Happy Pon Farr!" They all exclaimed, except McCoy who, instead, rolled his eyes and immediately scanned the Vulcan's body with a portable medical device. 

"Congratulations. Looks like you're gonna to live another seven years," McCoy huffed. 

Kirk slapped Spock's back. "I see you're alive, Mr. Vulcan stud you." Spock said nothing. He stood hands crossed behind his back amused.

"So what was it REALLY like Spock," Kirk inquired, knowing he was pushing the Vulcan's buttons. "Was it as 'pneumatic' as you previously described?"

"As you will not be surprised Mr. Kirk, I do not have a comment on the matter," Spock responded. "I do, however, find your obsession with such topics fascinating."

"It is a topic, which I am well stud-ied," Kirk said smugly from his chair in the center of the bridge. "And all to all of you. If you ever find yourself in a situation with a member of the opposite sex, just remember W-W-K-D. What Would Kirk Do?"

10 things I've learned this week

In grown up life, the weekends fly by too quickly then you're back at work again. Next thing you know, months go by then years. I can't wait to get Charger the puppy, but I can certainly wait for this month to get over with.

1. So, Larry King retired and John Roberts moved to Fox News. I use to follow the news extensively and I guess I've let myself go. 
2. You generally can get your fingerprints done by a police station, but it's best to shop around the different cities for the best price. My local police station costs $20.00 and is open for an hour. The one next door costs $5.00 and is open all day. 
3. YouTube video that made my week! (see above)
4. Earl of Sandwich does not make the Holiday Sandwich outside of the holiday season. Their tomato soup is good and tastes like marinara sauce mixed with cream.
5. Blueberry-flavored Greek yogurt is the best flavor. My mom does not like Greek yogurt, but it's better than American style for sure. http://healthmad.com/nutrition/what-are-the-health-benefits-of-greek-yogurt-vs-regular-yogurt/
6. Taking your money out of Bank of America and moving it to a different bank is not easy. Prepare at least two hours to get one cashier's check. 
7. If someone is blatantly rude to you, it's ok to stand up for yourself. Go ahead and speak to a supervisor. Even if nothing comes of it, you can at least rest assured that it will not happen again. 
8. There's going to be a new Shamu show debuting in April in Orlando called One Ocean. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. I'll have to see it first. 
9. Ace of Cakes on the Food Network is having their series finally. I can't believe it, because the show never hits a low peak. I think that as their popularity has grown, so have their projects. So naturally people tend to branch off and such.
10. Justin Bieber stole is haircut from Luke Skywalker.

A little existentialism

While volunteering at the Science Center today, I had a moment of rare awe. This one is kinda hard, so follow me on this. The fact that the Earth, the Sun, and the Moon are in perfect sync with each other, the perfect distance away to support life on the planet, blows my mind.

Think about it, of all the statistics, the moon rotates around the Earth generally opposite the sun. It could be different. If the moon and the sun rose and set at the same time, we would have massive tides and such. Instead, it complements each other. Another statistic, that the Earth is the perfect distance from the sun. So we don't burn up like Mercury, and aren't freezing like every other planet. You may think that oh yes, this is all common knowledge, but when you stop to think about how rare this anomaly is; it makes you appreciate life.

If each star is a solar system, and there are millions of solar systems and hundreds of galaxies, there must be other life out there. Maybe they won't look like us, because the conditions may be different, but you never know. Take a moment to soak it all in.

New Year's Resolution - 2011

I'm a bit late on publicly announcing my 2011 New Year's Resolution, but I definitely had it. This new blog is part of this year's resolution to write more. I want to make sure my thoughts get down on paper and on screen.

Last year, I accomplished my goals of reading more and joining a gym. I read about 54 books in total thanks to my Nook. In addition, I also started knitting again. This year I taught myself to crochet.

I met a lot of people and learned a lot of things last year as well. A legacy is something people leave behind. I want to make sure that my words are preserved for the future or if anything should happen. Johnny bought me a beautiful journal for my birthday. Last week I had a million idea I wanted to write down. This week, of course, I can't think of a single thing to write.

So here's to another successful year of personal achievement and discovery!