A Poem for John

Waves crash on a beach, and I think of you. 
Your smile is as bright as the midday sun.
Your hair the color of foam riding high atop a wave. 
Your kindness and generosity are a beacon in the storm. 
I think of you. 

Gone too soon and my heart feels heavy. 
You close your eyes and you are no longer suffering. 
The sudden pain you felt as your body betrayed you is over now.
Yet your eyes give new life to a lucky soul. 

The cancer came fast. 
A moment of riding high upon the waves, then crashing hard against the surf.
It didn't feel real and certainly not fair.
It is unforgiving,
But you knew. 
You knew anguish and despair,
Which is why you lived and in turn, showed others how to live.

I can see you now. You are at peace. 
The sun is setting. 
I imagine your relief.
You will pave the way for us and we will care for yours.
Farewell surfer dude.
I think of you. 

Rest In Peace John Havenner. 

What is your passion

This week I attended a lecture about personal branding, which of course got me thinking. The speaker went around the room and asked, "What is your passion?" For the first time, I was able to answer coherently. Here is my answer: My passion is story telling. I believe everyone has a story, whether it's personal or in their head. I tell stories through writing and I love it.

Expressing my passion is difficult because sometimes I can go towards the crazy side (ex. whales), but passion is something that I lack. Well, not that I lack it, but more like I have so many passions it's hard for me to feel satisfied.

The man giving the lecture is a head honcho of Human Resources, so he knows a number of things about getting jobs and moving up in the world. He made an interesting point being that everyone looks great on paper, but it really is the interview that helps distinguish a candidate. He emphasized that he encourages his team to look for passionate people. Most people can learn the skills to do whatever job, but whether or not they want to do it can make or break an interview. This makes a lot of sense because with the economy, everyone now has a bachelor's degree or higher, some people have experience, and other don't. In fact, the only way that a 20-something who graduated during a slump in the economy can stand out, is by showing their commitment and dedication. For my next interview (whatever it may be), I'll be sure to show my passion more.

For me, the hardest part was identifying what it was. My next step is to determine what I can do with it.

The time I decided to write stuff

I published my first story for BroadwayWorld.com today. It's a show review of a fundraiser cabaret. Follow the link here to read the story. I can tell you that this is what I was meant to do. At least this feels right at this exact moment. I'm also working on a big project that will hopefully knock something off my bucket list. My creative juices are flowing!

As a budding freelancer, I'm having some difficulties as all new journalists do. I find myself reaching out to publicists and hearing nothing back in return. Given the fact that I majored in Public Relations, I'm actually not surprised. So I sent out my information explaining who I was, but what do I do now? Wait?

My job is to review theater. Do I buy tickets in the meantime to get the job done? I'm already poor, because my full-time job is at a theme park. I do not want to be too pushy, but I also know the importance of waiting.    I'd be interested to know how other writers got their connections. I know it's about building relationships, but how do you even start?

For now, I will continue researching and waiting. If you're an Orlando theater publicist. I'm real! I'm here and I want to review your shows! Please contact me.

If you're a freelance writer, I want to hear from you too. I want to know how it is you do what you do. It turns out that the writing is the easy part of the job.

Orlando Science Center: The Crosby Observatory

John and I decided to have a date night and visit the Orlando Science Center's Crosby Observatory for SkyWatch.

I never been to an observatory in Florida, but spend a lot of time staring at the sky when walking the pup at night. Being an Aquarius, I also have a natural fascination with the stars.

As a former OSC volunteer, I love the dedication to education the science center offers. The observatory is on the sixth floor and features a powerful, 10-inch lens refractor telescope.

Upon exiting the elevator, guests encounter a board with the rising and setting times of each of the planets and the moon. Planets come into view at night depending upon the season. Tonight, we were scheduled to see Jupiter. We were immediately greeted by a very knowledgeable OSC volunteer. (I regret not remembering his name). He took us up a spiral staircase to view the telescope. After a brief introduction, he pointed out a bright spot in the sky. Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system and is one of the brightest objects in the sky right now.  We peered through the lens and saw Jupiter with its red and white lines very clear. We also saw four of its moons lined perfectly. We had a very in depth conversation with the OSC volunteer. You can definitely tell how passionate he is about space.

Next we went out to the patio. Not only does it have an amazing view of Downtown Orlando's skyline, but more OSC volunteers set up smaller telescopes for additional viewing. Unfortunately, a thick set of clouds rolled in and we had to cut our trip short. I definitely want to return in the Spring to see Saturn.

I highly recommend SkyWatch to astronomy enthusiasts. It makes a great date night location and also gets points for being highly educational. Admission included access to the rest of the Science Center too. 

SkyWatch occurs on Fridays and Saturdays on the first and third weekend of the month. Weather permitting. The cost of admission after 5:00 PM is $23 for adults and $16 for youth (ages 3-11). Student discounts available. 

The Secret Dancer

As kids, my parents enrolled us into karate, which is the exact opposite of what I really wanted. So college comes and I finally lived my dream of dancing. My senior year, I fell and my dreams went a different direction. It turns out that I'm just ok at ballet and not flexible at all.

Fast forward five years later to today. I miss dancing so much and I live in Orlando. A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to take an open class with Orlando Ballet and it was love. Granted I was not able to walk or move for days afterward, but it was so nice to dance again. Next came another opportunity that I could not refuse. Finally an open set of classes that I could take and cost practically nothing. Very exciting.

While trying to get my stuff together, I realized that I gave away a lot of my favorite leotards, and apparently tights as well (who would take used tights - I do not recall).  I did have many pairs of ballet flats still sewn. It felt so nice to put the shoes on again. Not that it matters because I do not fit into the small leotards that I do have left over.

I'm apprehensive about the class. I'm much older now, and I realized from the preview class that my body cannot take the pounding that it could. But I need to do something that is fulfilling.

Oh, and I also promised my parents after I graduated that I would never dance again. So this whole thing is sorta a secret. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

All my friends are gone!

Ok not all my friends, but the amount of people who evacuated the state of Florida this past month is crazy. I wish I were among them.

• Jenny moved to Baltimore and got a Guest Service manager job at the Baltimore Zoo! Jenny was my trainer in Guest Services and definitely one of my first friends in Florida. Jenny and I had a lot in common because we both grew up and went to school up north. We also always joked that another month and another one of our acquaintances would be engaged.
• Delacy left again for Ohio, with the intention of not coming back. Delacy is also one of my first friends in Florida and took care of me at work. 
• Alex from the Science Center is moving to Wisconsin to be with her beloved. Alex was my breath of fresh air. I always surrounded myself with smart enthusiastic people in NY and Boston and longed to have that back in my life. Alex and Sarah would be so nerdy/cool/funny, when we hung out, I was just happy being me. It's definitely a happiness that I've been missing since leaving Boston. I will most definitely miss laughing like an idiot with Alex.
• Brian left today for Pennsylvania. Brian and I were in the same training class, but we did not become super good friends until I started dating Johnny and he was Johnny's roommate. Brian would be my work vent buddy. I loved that he would drag us homebodies out to do things whether it be sushi or a bar. 

I am so thankful to have had these people in my life.  And leave with these lyrics from Wicked "For Good"

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Drinking the fruit punch

I think I'm going to share some wisdom. Every so often I get the impending feeling of doom and think that I need to put my thoughts in writing in case the inevitable. So here are a few thoughts I try to live by. It helps me get through the day and especially motivates me towards the future.

1. "Each day is a new opportunity to help someone." My buddies from work say this like we're a cult. I created this mantra after a breaking point where I no longer believe in justice or humanity. I say it every time I get frustrated.

2. "You can have all the most beautiful plants in the world, but I'm not a millionaire." Sadly, we do not remember who said this, but I have taken this nugget of wisdom and use it to explain a lot. It's true, you really can have all the beautiful things, plants, etc., in the world - and still not be a millionaire. I interpret this as, Happiness is what you make it.

3. "Treat each client like they're your father." My paralegal studies professor said this on our second class and it makes a lot of sense. You can substitute "client" with "person"and not only does it remind us all to treat each other with respect, but to treat the information we learn about people with confidentiality.

4. "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - Macbeth (Act V, Scene V). I memorized this passage in 11th grade. It basically means that you can yell and complain all you like, but in the end no one cares. Everyone has their own issues, but also has their own lives - so however wronged you may be. Essentially no one cares.

5. "[So] you can settle for a less-than-ordinary life; but you feel like you were meant for something better. Something special." - Star Trek (2009). Capt. Pike says this to Kirk after he gets his ass kicked in a bar. Everyone has their destiny. Don't settle - ever.

6. "Whatever happen already happened. So minimize your losses." This is another quote from my paralegal studies teacher. We were talking about defending murderers, but it also makes sense for real life. There's no sense dwelling on the past, so know when to pick your battles, and choose the next best option. 

I hope you enjoyed a jaunt through my mind. If you have any other nuggets of wisdom, I'm easily swayed to adding them into my life.

"Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road"

"You are assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold - the contrary. Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party." - Star Trek 2009

Have you ever had a moment when you look back at where you are now, and think this is exactly where you're supposed to be? The events of my life and everything leading up to present day happen for a reason. We may think our path is supposed to go in one direction, but the pieces fall completely different.

The day before my birthday, I had a really bad job interview and I thought that would be the end of it. It turns out, the sequence of events lead to another opportunity.  At that moment, I could not see the path or why had to be the way, but looking back it all makes sense.

It's truly a blessing when the pieces to life's puzzles fall together, and you can start to see the big picture. Maybe the big picture is always there and taking some self-reflection time is all that is needed to gain some of this clarity.

Another full circle thing is friendships. About a year ago, I literally changed social groups. For some reason, I thought I would never have friends again and blah blah. Looking back on that decision, proves that it was the best decision socially in terms of responsibility and surrounding myself with positive people. I would have never met my Johnny unless these events happen.

New Year's Resolution - 2011

I'm a bit late on publicly announcing my 2011 New Year's Resolution, but I definitely had it. This new blog is part of this year's resolution to write more. I want to make sure my thoughts get down on paper and on screen.

Last year, I accomplished my goals of reading more and joining a gym. I read about 54 books in total thanks to my Nook. In addition, I also started knitting again. This year I taught myself to crochet.

I met a lot of people and learned a lot of things last year as well. A legacy is something people leave behind. I want to make sure that my words are preserved for the future or if anything should happen. Johnny bought me a beautiful journal for my birthday. Last week I had a million idea I wanted to write down. This week, of course, I can't think of a single thing to write.

So here's to another successful year of personal achievement and discovery!