Lecture review: Microinequities

Today I attended an interesting lecture about micro-inequities. In a nutshell, it's all the passive aggressive actions intentional or unintentional that can occur in a conversation. For example leaving someone off an important email chain may make that person feel left out, though the sender may have not done it intentionally. What I learned is that there are at least two sides to every action even if the intentions were meant to be good.

The speaker was Michael Freeman from UCF. He started by asking two questions to ponder:
- How do you reward yourself?
- How do you punish yourself?

As he suspected, most people do not reward themselves enough and that the punishments that we do to ourselves when things go wrong are far too severe. These actions that we do to ourselves also reflect exactly how we treat others professionally and personally.

Another interesting concept that he touched on briefly was "empathy fatigue." This is when you no longer care  or more professionally: "Emotional detachment brought about by prolonged emotional exposure." In other words, being so consumed by something whether it's work or personal problems that all emotions of sympathy become the same. I can say that I suffer from this and I'd wager that 75% of my colleagues do too. I would love to discuss ways to break this chain, but Freeman also said that he put forth a rule that says "I will only work as hard as my boss/client." 

I've always been one to say that change starts from the top down. I try to embody the ideals that I strive to maintain in my personal and professional life, but in the end, you are responsible for yourself and your actions. 

In conclusion Freeman said something that stuck with me: "You can't control what someone else does, you can only control how you react." He challenged each of us to be brave and have meaningful conversations. If it's a sensitive topic, then the only way to clear the air is to ask the question "why do you say that?" This is because we should always be open to learning and only when all parties are willing to listen and understand, can anything be solved.