Mind Over Matter - A Ballet Experiment

Ballerina Kim in 2006 (what a skinny b)

Lately I've been feelings very negative towards myself and my self image. I know it is in my head, but we are all our own worst critic. I've always had this love-hate relationship with ballet. I love it, but at the same time it's physically torturous and you're standing in a mirror wearing skin clenching clothing. I've never considered myself big, but in a leotard you can't hide the jelly rolls. I turned 27 in January and my metabolism turned off.

Growing up, my mother rarely gave us advice that worked, but one thing she usually said was "mind over matter." Yesterday, I was dreading ballet (which happens on Tuesdays), mostly because I decided that stretching was not a top priority and I ate, A LOT. I Googled things that a young dancers should worry about,  more than the casual adult dancer: improve balance, extension, pirouettes. Some of the things I found were helpful, probably more helpful if I were younger.

Now I am the class clown and always have been. I also take class from 8pm - 9:30pm on a Tuesday after working a full day job. By the time class starts I'm either really full and chubby because I ate, or starving and moody. I think you'll also realize that my attention span is that of a goldfish and I can't tell my left from right anymore. I also am very sleepy. Despite these challenges, I show up every week and just dance because it's fun. Can't explain it.

While driving to class I decided that I would test my mom's mind over matter technique, while combining some of the things that I learned from the Internets. I was not expecting a 180-degree turn out or magical splits. I get that those things take time, but I decided that I would focus. I envisioned myself rocking the combinations, sticking balances, and turning better than ever. I also told the class my experiment, mostly so I could hold myself accountable.

At first, focusing was a challenge, but I tried harder than I use to. What I really wanted to do was balance and turn better. During balances I made sure to remember all my tips and envisioned myself rocking it. The first half of class, the jury was still out as to whether the method was working. It was when we were turning across the floor did it actually work. In the past, when I turn I just am wobbly and anti-graceful. I imagined prepping well, having a high leg, turning, and landing perfectly. I just kept focusing on that vision. I also heard my teacher scream: KNEE back. For some reason, all the things aligned (physically and metaphorically). I not only nailed one pirouette, but also pulled off a double (mostly by accident). It was a feeling that I have only felt once before in 2008.

So was this my mind over matter or was it shear luck. I have to say, I was not perfect, but for the first time I felt accomplished in class and satisfied by the end of class. I will definitely experiment for a few more weeks.

Product Review: Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Cleansing Cloths

I am not sure where this product has been all my life. These wipes are exactly what I to feel fresh after using the restroom.

The first thing that I noticed when I set up the dispenser was how soft the wipes were and how nice they smelled. They remind me of baby wipes, so I call them grown up wipes.

I talked to my mom about them when I received them. She said she already used them and loved them. Suddenly, I felt like it was the slow adopter.

As expected, the wipes were soft and felt good. The scent was not overwhelming and it felt refreshing. I would definitely continue purchasing these.

Product Review: Meet Jonah the Sea-nic Adventures Sleeping Bag

This is my amazing gift from Johnny. A human-sized whale sleeping bag, which I will use as a snuggie because I do not camp. I also recently learned of my fur-whale fetish. It feels so right being inside this whale cuddly. If I could wear him to work, I would. From what I understand, it is not a social norm to appear in a whale sleeping bag.

I'm not sure that the product would actually be comfortable in a real-life camping situation, but it is very soft and warm. It is possible to fit two small people inside, but definitely a squeeze for two. Cleaning may not be easy, so no eating or drinking inside the whale.

There is a snap to make sure the mouth does not close over the head while sleeping. I find myself also using Jonah as a yoga mat. He's even attacked some of my other stuffed animal.

Once again, ModCloth.com is one of my favorite online store, and where this product was sold. Definitely special thanks to John who took the initiative to purchase it. Jonah has brought quite a lot of joy.