Choosing to Be Happy - June Recap

Earlier this month I started my Happiness Project. In June I chose to focus on my Relationships (mostly with John). I set my goals to:

• Accept and appreciate him for what he is fully
• Give positive encouragement
• Show Up
• Don't judge/ Stop Nagging

What better way to start than a two-week vacation. It started off pretty rocky and I needed to remind myself constantly about my goals. Overall, I would say June was wildly successful. I have not asked John about this month, but I think my attitude shift has had a positive impact on our relationship. I made huge leaps in accepting people for who they are. John is sweet, caring, hard-working, honest, and loving. Choosing to focus on the good traits about him, reminded me to stop nagging and judging. 

I also focused on a lot on giving positive encouragement, again, in my attempt to stop nagging. I dare proclaim this a success! A large portion of my stress is both of our jobs, which directly correlates to the success of our future. Using positive encouragement, I try to boost his confidence. Well, John is starting a new job shortly, definitely on the path he's worked for and I hopefully will too. 

This month's goals also spilled into my relationships with other people, whether it be at work, or complete strangers. I interact with strangers a lot in my job. A little part of me will always judge people for poor spelling or the poor choices that they make; however, I am trying to understand from their perspective. 

Finally, the goal of "Showing Up" is on my list several times. To me, this means showing support for people by being their for them mentally and physically. I find this to be most challenging because of my tight schedule. I worked hard to have dinner dates with friends, attending events hosted by friends (aka Geek Trivia), and listening to people. This is hard, and I am tired and possibly over-extended, but it feels good being there. 

So am I happier? Well, I can say yes! I had a fantastic trip, I appreciate more, I've done many things that I never thought I would do and I'm focusing on a more positive future. So far, so good!

What's up for July? Ironically, I'd like to focus on work. I will:

• Meet new people
• No Gossip
• Listen and engage
• Learn phrases in other languages
• Be qualified

Positive Thinking vs. Detachment from Reality

Here's an interesting question for you followers of positive thinking. When does positive thinking and positive vision become detachment from reality?

In review: According to The Power and The Secret by Rhonda Powell, the Laws of Attraction state that if you think positive thoughts and envision what you want, will eventually come to you. I believe there's some truth to the statement being that in order to feel happier, one must actually want to be happy. For that matter, one must believe in happiness. (Original Happiness Project blog here).

So you wander around life thinking the best in everything and every situation. You hope for the perfect outcome and supposedly it will come? It's a kind of head-in-the-clouds approach. My dad shook me back into reality today regarding a certain topic when he said "Isn't that what you said last time?" Which was complete true. (In case you were wondering, what I said was: "I really feel it this time. This is going to be my big break.") I was trying to be uber positive and envision myself in a certain location, but it fell apart. I ended up being depressed and lost for a few weeks, then off on another flight of fancy.

Is positive thinking a band aid for reality?

Take for example horoscopes. I'm a strong believer in astrology. I've studied it, but since then lessened the mania. Though one of my first things when I find out someone's birthday is to determine how their sun sign matches with my own. My friend, Phil, is the exact opposite and he is quick to point out that broad statements found in horoscopes will apply if you believe that they will happen. Any situation for that matter

So if your horoscope says something terrible is going to happen, and you believe in astrology, then you'll be more sensitive to looking for the thing that makes the horoscope true. Hey, we all need something to believe in - something to know that the things that happen to us may be out of our control all along.

Luckily, like a good parent my dad saw reality hit me and brought me back from worrying. He reminded me "No regrets, right?" He's right. I don't have no time fo' no regrets.

What is real?

In the past I've always guarded myself, many time self-deprecating and shielding with negative thoughts. That may be closer to reality, but I'm not ready to give up the positive stuff yet. I have a couple of friends from college who seem to exude positive energy. Yet, they seem happy and wildly successful.

In conclusion, I think it's okay to be positive, but have realistic expectations.

 "Don't wish, Don't Start. Wishing only wounds the heart." - Wicked

Day 10 : June 5th Vancouver to Seattle

June 5th

I keep saying this, but this was a great day. John and I started out visiting the Vancouver Aquarium. It reminded me a lot of NEAQ, both of which has a focus on education and local marine life. I love visiting institutions like this. The only bad part was the random and unexpected butterfly garden. John does well when I get into the phobia/paranoia mode. This aquarium also allowed me to see the only sea mammals I missed on the cruise. This was also the first time I saw a Pacific Whitesided Dolphin, which are native to the West coast.

After the aquarium we walked the famous seawall. I've gotten use to walking at this point and so I had the bright idea to walk along the wall from the aquarium to the bridge. Then lured by the next turn and the next we kept walking. According to the mile markers we walked 3.6 miles, which is fine given the amount of calories we consumed on the ship.

Around 4pm we decided to start driving back to Seattle. The longest part was crossing the border from Canada to the US. It was not a good idea to try to do so during rush hour on a weekend. It took about 45-minutes, but luckily we were close enough to turn our phones back on for entertainment. Side note: During the week my phone was off I received 68-emails. Mostly spam, but also some interesting writing opportunities.

John found an interest road a/k/a the scenic route. I have an affinity for the scenic route. In this case, weeks earlier I told him about my dream to be driving along a cliff with water on one side and cliff on the other. He found State Road 11, which had exactly such a route. We stopped at every lookout point we could find. John and Alex the Whale were so patient as I took an obnoxious amount of photos to remember each place.

We stopped at Larrabee State Park around 8pm, with the park closing at 9pm. It was still daylight as we hiked a bit to a hidden and deserted pebble beach. I've dreamed of a place like this. It's not a beach with waves or sand, but worn logs in a protected cove. When I think of Washington state and Oregon, I think of scenes like this. The water gently lapping onto the shore. I was certain that whales would love to hang out there, but I was also sure that we wouldn't see them.

I had another phobia moment when we noticed thousands of caterpillars on anything wooden. Again, John did very well handling me during the freak out. I lost my mind as I envisioned those thousands of caterpillars turning into thousands of butterflies. Yuck! Thinking about it now sends shivers up my spine.

We continued driving through coastal towns and through beautiful roads where the trees towered above forming a cathedral-like ceiling. We passed through farms that found fertile ground in the valleys between the sea and the mountains. More domestic animals like cows, sheep, horses, and llamas.

We made it back to Seattle by 10pm. When I rented the car my gut told me to buy the full insurance. I normally wouldn't, but I did anyway. Good thing too because within 10-minutes away from our destination a rock hit and cracked the windshield. I worried for a bit, but luckily the insurance covered it completely.

We checked in our final night before the flights in the morning. Here's a fun side story. (If you're John's mom don't read anymore.) I got out of the shower in the morning, changed, and started packing, while John was still asleep. I decided not to nag as part of my happiness project and figured that he would get up eventually, so we could return the car. Well, he woke up very briskly when the fire alarm went off at 8am. John starts running towards the door, and I think great fire! Except he turns and runs into the bathroom. I guess, no time like the present. I quickly threw our stuff into the bags and checked out to see if there is a real fire. I return after not smelling smoke, but the alarm was still going off. Where was John? He was taking a shower. I joke because John hears a fire alarm and his first instinct is to take a shower.  Not a short shower either. I really need to get him to read The Survivors Club. Part of me felt bad for leaving him, but I wasn't about to potentially die. During his lengthy shower, with the alarm going off, I plotted several additional escape routes in case I was wrong.

Cut to returning the car and rushing to the airport. The rest is history and well documented via Facebook. Definite kudos go out to John who pretty much handled our travelling crisis as I was incapacitated by rage and hormones.

Day 9 : June 4th Seattle to Vancouver, BC

June 4th

Vacation part 2! We ate our last breakfast on-board and de-boarded the ship. It was relatively easy getting through customs and finding our luggage. I planned weeks before to rent a car and drive to Vancouver, BC. A few years back my cousin Karyn and her husband moved to Canada and I have not seen her in years. Being in the Pacific Northwest was the perfect excuse to visit. 

Once again we lucked out by receiving a complimentary upgrade to the rental vehicle with a UO discount. (Win!) We got an awesome Hyundai Santa Fe that had amazing gas mileage. I printed maps a long while ago, but it's mostly one road (I-5) North. This was also the same road that had the bridge collapse a few weeks earlier. 

Vancouver is only a 2.5 hours drive. We lucked out without hitting any traffic at the border. I love driving. I do my best thinking when I'm driving. When I drive on pretty roads my imagination just goes wild. I wish there were a way to record thoughts as they happen because I wrote some great lines, but could not write them down because I was driving. 

We met my cousin at her house around 3:15pm, which is also when I met her children for the first time. I always joked that I wanted to meet them before they turned 18. So cute. Johnny is great with little kids and had the little girl's friendship in minutes. I brought presents from Disney World and hope they will visit us someday. It felt so good to catch up. While it seemed so long since we last saw each other, and an entire lifetime seemed to have passed, we chatted like it was yesterday.

Karyn took us to Granville Island, which had an amazing market and art community. Then we had dinner on the docks. Possibly the best fish and chips ever. The reunion was short, but amazing. One of my future Happiness Project goals in the future is to reconnect and this was a great first step. Saying goodbye for now made me sad, and I usually do not feel emotion. Somehow I think this vacation allowed me to let my guard down. As we parted ways I thanked John for accompanying me on this visit and I wished out loud that I would have more meaningful encounters with family. 

It's interesting visiting a town where someone else lives. I know that's a strange statement, but usually people visit me in Orlando and I just say you gotta do Disney or whatever I normally say at work. Being a tourist is kinda fun. We got some great tips for our next day in Vancouver. 

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Day 8 : June 3rd Victoria, BC

June 3rd

My frontier journal stopped because the rest seemed to be a whirlwind. Our final stop on the cruise was Victoria, British Columbia. We arrived at 7pm and were scheduled to depart at midnight. We waited and decided to have our final meal on-board. As with all cruises, we got attached to our waitstaff. Our waiter was Karnitas from Bali, Indonesia. He works on the ship while his family of four remains at home. He's a pretty young guy and did well so we were sure to tip him well. Then our secondary waiter was Roy from the Philippines. They were kind. We saw them both during the breakfast/lunch shifts at the buffet and then the dinner shifts. The final food staff performance was a spoof lyric of "Leaving on a jet plane" except re-written to "Leaving on a cruise ship." I think they had fun.

We made our way off the ship and again trusting Johnny's navigation skills walked 2.1 km to downtown Victoria. I admit that I was being a brat and non-believer, but we eventually got there before it got dark. I negotiated with John that if we HAD to walk, then we would take a cab back to port.

The town seemed very cultural with dozens of museums and cultural buildings. Unfortunately, because it was so late it was all closed. I picked up a few souvenirs and we milled about for an hour before finding the cab back.

Earlier that afternoon we packed and somehow it all fit in the luggage.

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Day 7 : June 2nd Ketchikan, Alaska

June 2nd

I didn't write yesterday because I took some Chinese-based sea sick medication that first gave me hallucination then I passed out for 17 hours. We were in Juneau yesterday. John planned for us to try a whale watch and salmon bake. It is no secret that my favorite whale/dolphins are killer whales. Up until yesterday I've only seen them in captivity. We came to Alaska for adventure, a change of scenery, and whales. The day did not start promising. Like in Skagway, it was cold and raining. To my delight, we boarded a small boat and the rain stopped. 

It was a group of 32 of us and a comfy boat with large windows. Definitely built for whale watching. No more than five minutes out, I spotted a tail, which alerted the pilot and captain. Making our way over to the area, we found ourselves surrounded by about five killer whales. It was just like the end of Free Willy. Dorsal fins breaking the surface of the water, followed by a puff of steam from their blowholes. Unlike the whales at SeaWorld these had dorsal fins that stood straight and strong. Some wobbled because they were so tall. The first pair were far away, but a second pair came closer. This pair had a much larger male and pretty female. We chased some humpbacks, but they were boring. One humpback breached his whole body out of the water and made a huge splash. We saw sea lions and eagles. We ended our whale watch with another pair of Orcas just moseying along the shore. 

An interesting note: the intern on the boat was from Ft. Myers. The Captain's day job was working for the state, and the pilot was probably drunk. Our bus driver was a younger kid named Nathaniel Hobbs. The young people come here during the summer to work in the tourism industry. I guess in their free time, they enjoy the scenery. Expect all these characters in my next book. 

Then we left for the Salmon bake. The salmon bake was an outdoorsy wooded area. The salmon was so pink and definitely fresh. It had a very sweet maple glaze. There was also salmon in the Cesar salad. The best was the delicious wild rice pilaf, and cheesy potatoes. We roasted marshmallows by a campfire in the rain and then went on a hike to a waterfall. There are a lot of local singers in Alaska. This guy sang a song about lost soul and people who come here to find their way.  

When we made our way back to the ship, we both passed out, only waking for dinner. The medication made me see the mountains move and trees shift. Then it made me have a serious bout of the munchies. 

Today was out final port in Alaska - Ketchikan. It was the one sunny port even though it rains here 360 days a year. Today was also the day we're snorkeling in Alaska. I brought my own mask, which I haven't used since Boston. The shop reminded me of my old dive shop - East Coast Divers in Mass. We donned our cold water gear, which consists of a 7mm wet suit  hood, gloves, and boots, and waded into the 48-degree water. It was cold, but not life threateningly cold. Apparently this is a past time for native Ketchikans. The waters were murky, but clear in some spots. The worst part was getting in as that cold water crept into the suit. It felt like knives piercing the skin. After the initial shock, it felt much better. I wouldn't say warm, but bearable. 

In the water there were a bunch of invertebrates (sea stars, sea cucumbers, limets, sea urchins) and some fish. We also got close to an eagle and uncomfortable close to jellyfish. We saw a wild sunflower star with 16-24 legs. Overall, a great experience. 

Our time in Ketchikan was short, so after an hour in the water, we all got out and changed. We made our way back to town and had an hour to spare. We took time to have lunch on the docks. I bought myself a fleece that says Alaska as a fond souvenir. 

As I write, we just came back from a lecture about whales by the naturalist. It was very anti-captivity, but I can't blame her after seeing these wild whales. It is where they are supposed to be. Tomorrow night, will be at our last stop - Victoria, BC. I have no idea how we are going to pack all of our stuff, especially all the souvenirs. Then we will drive North. 

This has been a great week. I'm itching to check my email, but it's nice to get away. People come to Alaska because it is one of the last frontiers. Admittedly, we only visited heavily tourist areas, but still got a taste of a completely different way of life. I've been watching Alaska TV shows on National Geographic on rerun, because it is one of the few TV channels on the ship. Life here is much different than in "the lower 48." Some come for the adventure, while others come for freedom. I came looking for whales and mountains. I found what I was looking for. I am sad that I probably will not be back for a long time. If ever. 

Believe me when I say I've thought about all the jobs I could take if I lived here. I think my 2nd book has a lot more in-depth thought now. I just need to finish the first book first. I've romanticized leaving it all and coming to Alaska to live and write just like the old school style. Then reality sets in. It's a nice thought when you have a comfortable room and unlimited food already paid for. It would be much different in real life. 

Yesterday we saw the only McDonald's in Juneau, AK. According to the guide, they sold 17,000 hamburgers their first day. To me it looked rather run down compared to the three-story super McDonald's on I-Drive. Gas, despite being drilled in the Northern part of the state, was over $4.00 a gallon. The people who live here seem to love it. 

In truth, I completely over-packed, while John under-packed  I should not have brought 75% of the items packed. Like the flip flops. I think I will write a post about packing for Alaska in the future. 

~

The snorkeling was one of my favorite parts of this trip. It was very well handled and had some great gear. Cold water diving is so much different that colorful warm water diving. Cold water animals are heartier and well-adapted. Nothing feels better than getting out of cold water and warming up from the inside out. Cold water also makes my hair and skin look fantastic!

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Day 6 : June 1st Juneau, Alaska

June 1st

I did not write a journal entry on this day because the medication I took knocked me and John out. We went whale watching in Juneau. It was a cozy, but powerful boat that had large viewing windows. Now we saw whales, tons of humpback whales, but everyone knows that my favorites are killer whales. If ever I was meant to see these creatures in the wild it would have been today. I kept my expectations low as killer whales are said to be sighted 1:10 times. I also heard from the day before that killer whales were seen leaving the area.

You can say it was my destiny, but our boat left the dock and headed out towards the bays. Something immediately caught my eye and I screamed "Tail!" Of course no one believed me, because it was so close to shore, but the pilot went in that direction anyway. Of course it was a whale and of course it was a killer whale.

There's no mistaking that black and white. I know my heart skipped a beat as I saw those strong tall dorsal fins break the surface of the water. Ever since my brother and I saw Free Willy, we called the whale's dorsal fin a butter knife because it looks like it cuts through the water. I was sad that I could not share the moment with my family, but I'll have fond memories.

At it's peak we saw about six killer whales around the boat. The header photo here is so far from reality, very rarely do whales jump out of the water like that. Instead, mostly I saw this:

No matter how far away they were, they were close enough and they were free. We continued and found some random whales lounging about. We ended the tour very close to a family of three whales along the shoreline. We were so close that we could hear them breathing. The baby one rolled on its back and gave us a flipper wave before diving beneath the surface. That was the last we saw of them. 

At this point, I could die and feel fulfilled. It also was the moment that I got an idea for my next book. 

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